rs-forever's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mean Girl - I Ryan is my best-est friend. I feel so bad misunderstanding him so much with the whole Princey deal. Ofcourse he wanted me to go meet my friend. He said I should read the GMail conversation to see if he ever discouraged me from going seeing my friend. He did not. It is just that he did not say it soon enough that we could go see Princey instead of his sister. But he did say it! While I was speaking to Princey later that night over the phone he was looking up commuter tickets to see her. I would leave on Friday morning, and he would drive five hours after working all day to come see her. A friend of mine that he has never met and doesn't know about too much. I felt so, so, so bad. I am such a jerk :'( But we did not go to meet Princey or Ryan's sister. Instead we went to eat on Friday night at our favorite Thai place, my little way of making up, but not really making up enough for my bad behavior. Then on Saturday we went to walk around a lake around here, climbed a hill and got a wonderful view of the city, walked down a steep hill. We had such a lovely time. It was perfectly sunny and just a perfect-est day out together. Sunday was mostly a work day, with Ryan working on his thesis, and me figuring out basement business. Then Monday he went to work. Like he has to. And I missed him so much. And all the mean things I implied to him on Thursday came back to me. So I missed him even more. At one point I just lay down in bed and cried till I was miserable. I was feeling "trapped" that day. I was in this country like a jail. If they file for an H1 visa for me, I cannot leave between April and October, even if I have tonnes of free time now that I wish I could spend in Bombay. And Ryan is so convenient to blame for all this, in some strange, contrived way. Because he will bear it all and not say anything and just be sad. I feel terrible. I think I will never be able to make up for this. Sorry, my dearest, dear Ryan. Sorry for treating you so badly on Thursday. I will try to make up for it, I promise. I love you, your happy smile when I tickle you, your dark hair so soft to touch, your cheeks that all the ladies in your family love leaving lipstick marks on so it looks like you are blushing, your matter of fact way of explaining things, your angry face when talking about politics, your busy face when you are making something lovely out of Legos, and your peaceful, most peaceful face when you are asleep. I love you so very much... Now I will go to Market Basket to buy some meat and to Lowes to buy a bigger Rubbermaid clear storage box, if they have any more in stock. Also I will get cinderblocks to put in the basement. -MeanGirl (MG)
7:14 p.m. - 2010-03-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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